Well I started school. Summer was good while it lasted. Things are okay with Brad and I now. Now I'm just all confused about Travis. I really hate falling for boys and I hate all those damn freshman whores. The only one I really like is Kari. The other ones use guys and it pisses me off. I pretty much hate everyone. I want to hang out with my click and not have to worry about anyone else. I want Travis, more than ever. I just want to be happy. I'm so sick today, it's not even funny. I don't even know how I'm holding myself up at the moment. I didn't think I was going to make it through a whole day at school. I cried a little during English class. I've also been writing about my whole 'boy' thing. I don't understand anything. I couldn't even think all day today.. my head hurts so bad. I have a million thoughts going through my head. I just want to scream. I know crying won't help, but I want to. Chad is all upset and hanging out with him lastnight just made me feel worse. I love the kid to death, but gahh. Carlee and I have become tight again. I'm glad we're back to being BFFs, I missed her. She keeps me going from day to day. Friday was pretty awesome. I got to see Tiffany, Andy, Lance, Sam and the others. I've missed them, a lot. I hung around with Chad, Bridget, Kari and them for a while. Then I went and talked to Brad until Travis got there. Then I went to Taco Bell with Keith, Shane and Jeremiah. Then later met up with Jake and Tony. Gahh, I was upset that I only got to see Travis for like 5 minutes. Ohh well, not like he wants me anyway. He only wants hugs, kisses, sex.. you know.. guy stuff. Gahh. Desi did my hair a week and a half ago. And I gauged my ears to a 0. So I look all different. Yay! Well I'm too sick and tired to write anymore.. plus my mom is pissing me off and I need a nap. Then I'll end up talking to Carlee until some ungodly hour of the morning.

Okay, here we go. I found Rod, thanks to PJ. PJ called me and was like Britt, Rod works at the fair, but you didn't hear it from me. Well I went Wednesday with Jake, Zack, Keith, Tony, Carlee and Brittani. I was Bridget couldn't go because she was at work. I saw Brad, Russ and Tommy there. We all followed each other there in 4 cars. Well I walked around and Keith was like there's PJ, so I ran up to him and junk. We went to go find Rod, but he wasn't there. So I had PJ buy me some cigarettes, since he's 19. We walked around and all the junk. Then Carlee, Brittani and I left. Carlee had no idea how to get home, so I had to show her how to get back. We stoped at CircleK to get gas. OMG, they had no idea how to pump gas. Crazyness. So then Friday I went to Bridget's. I brought her Taco Bell, because I'm sweet like that. Then a few hours later Chelsea came and got us and we went and visited Keriston at work. Then we went to Chelsea's house to get gas money.. once again no idea how to pump gas. I swear I'm the only one who can pump gas around here. Then Mikenzie called us and tols us to come over. So we did, that was crazy. Then us 4 went to Wal*Mart and Bridget bought us candy. Chelsea took Bridget and I back to Bridget's house. We had a cigarette, took myspace pictures then got ready while we were waiting on her sister to get home. As we waited another 2ish hours for Bridget's sister, Stephine to get ready we had to listen to their dad bitch about life. Finally he left so Bridget, Stephine and I went to the fair. That was drama, drama, drama! Steph was fighting with some girl over a guy. I was fighting with my boyfriend. Ughh, thank God Brad and Bridget helped me. Bridget and I rode rides and junk. Then we went and found Rod. He was like I saw the kid with the liprings.. I was like Brad and he was like yeah I guess. Then he like walked away and Matt was like yeah, Brad told him you were going to break up with him. So then when Rod came back I was like so Brad told you? and he was like yeah, so I walked away. Then I went and found Brad and I was like dude, what'd you say to Rod!? he was like I don't remember so I was like whatever. Then Jarrod through a pen at my head. So Bridget and I talked to him an Megan for a little while then went and found Stephine. We finally got back to her house around midnight, her dad was sleeping so Bridget, Steph and I went to Wal*Mart to buy a movie, then went to the lot. I finally got to meet PJ's new girlfriend. She's cute, I actually like this one. Haha, I'm mean. Then we went back to Bridget's house and I pretty much tackled her brother for a popsicle. Well not really, but yeah. He left so Bridget and I tried to find someone to sneak out with, no one was on. So we went to sleep. When we woke up her dad was once again bitching about life and took the internet box so we couldn't get on. Then he left. So I got a shower and left. I had to go to some thing, so I hung out with Amanda. Then I went to Family Dollar to waste sometime. Then came home and slept. Now Brad and I are.. well it's not fighting.. it's more like me being dumb and he's upset about stuff I said to him when I was mad. I called him a nasty herpies infected emo fag.. I'm so upset right now. I never meant it, I said it out of anger and I have no idea how to make up for it. I've never said anything like that to him before. I've never put him down before. I've always been the one who tried to bring him up, then I hurt him. I'm such a fuck up! I don't even think me standing up to Travis for him makes a difference. I love him so much. Gahh, forget it.

Okay, so there is this band called Lydia, I love them. My new favorite song is 'It's in your blood.' You shouldn't check them out because I'm sick of everyone listening to the bands I do, kthnx. I was with Bridget all day yesterday, I love her. We smoked, a lot. Then around 7 Bridget and I went to Keith's house, then Zack came over around 8. We decided to go to the lot and tailgate. Some 21 year old saw my beer bottle cap necklace and said want to add on to it? And gave me Smirnoff. So I was all happy. Bridget had some too, but she had vicodin in her system, so she was puking this morning. I felt so bad. When school starts, I think I'm going to quit. When you bring alcohol to school and drink it in the bathroom before 1st peroid class, you know you have a fucking problem. Plus I smoke on top of it, so I got a fucking B on the mile. Woohoo, I suck at life. But Bridget and I have a thought, we're all going to die at one point in time, so why not fucking party it up until we do. If you had a kick ass time before you die, even if you die at a young age, you should be happy. We know we would. Party hard before you die, bitches! Ohh yeah, Bridget and I decided to prank call Brad, haha well this boy is smart. I was saying all this stuff and he was like "Who is this?!" And I was like "Shelly".. just some random name Bridget thought of. And he was like "Ohh really? Because this sounds a lot like Brittany." I was like fuck. So that didn't work. Grr, I love that kid so much. You people have no idea, I'd die for him. I took a survey one day because I was bored. It asked me what I would name my kids when/if I have them. For a boy I'd name him.. Jayden Bradley (Because I love Brad soo fucking much) and for a girl.. Lacey Jordyn. (Jordyn is pronounced Jordan.) Yeah, I want kids.

Once again, I know I haven't updated in a long time. Well things have been pretty crazy. So I shall tell you. I know I'm never going to get over Brad, so yeah that's not new. I do have a new boyfriend though. His name is Roderick. He's really sweet, but the thing is that he's 20. Haha, yeah that's crazy. My exboyfriend PJ who is now like my big brother is taking care of me now. I love him bunches. I don't know where I'd be without him. He's going to be turning 20, lol. (I have a thing for older guys.) I can be crying and within not even 5 minutes he'll make me smile and laugh. He's the greatest. For a while there I thought I was losing my BFF. She's always hanging out with Chelsea now and going prepish on me. She also likes this preppy rich boy. I'm happy for her, but I miss the hell out of her. I just talked to her on the phone for about 4ish hours. I love our long talks. I really missed talking to her about everything and anything for hours on end. My Uncle also brought his girlfriend over to meet the family. It was pretty fun, no one fought! Haha, that's a first. I'm so fucking happy right now. 1st - I got to talk to Bridget for hours on end again. 2nd - My boyfriend is coming over tomorrow before he goes to work. 3rd - The tracker on my clothes that I ordered from Angry, Young and Poor said that they should be delivered to my house tomorrow! I can't wait for them to get here! I ordered another Misfits shirt, a Casualties shirt and a Horrorpops shirt. I love those 3 bands, a ton! One bad thing about today, Ashley left for summer camp and won't be back until July 24th. I miss her. Ohh and Brad is legal July 1st! This is so weird, he's always going to be 17 to me. I can't see him growing up. Ohh and my boyfriend was talking about going back to college, which is 3 hours away. That made me sad. Then he was talking about how he wished he would of gone to trade school, so then I told him about the school I'm going to. He might go to my school and not go to college now! I hope he does. Enn, this song is on again. Everytime I hear "The Adventure" by; Angels and Airwaves it makes me want to cry because I think of Anna. *RIP* April 26, 1988 - April 20, 2006.

Well here we go again. Weekdays have been boring so I'll tell you about my crazy weekends that I love. Friday - School, that night - Wal*Mart, Taco Bell, Angela's house with Ashley, Danny and Keith. We played kick ball and walked thruogh the park and swung on the swings and all that fun kid stuff, then stayed there for the night with them. Saturday - park with Ashley and Angela, then after Ashley left Angela and I went and hung out with Rober and Peter, then we left and went to Jessica's house, then we walked around town and went thrifting, after that Angela, Jessica and I met up with MY BRADLEY! and went to Subway for some food, then after that we had a cigarette and then we to my house with Keith, Theo and Chad, then everyone went home and I was bored. Sunday - Got a shower and hung out with Jessica, she stayed the night at my house and we smoked like a lot, and watched The Exorsist, haha. Monday (Memorial Day) - Went to Jessica's house with her, then walked the LONG way to Bridget's house because I'm stupid, gahh that was a walk I was in all black and it was 90 some degrees out, after we went there and got her, we went to Angela's house then met up at the pool with Chelsea, Danielle, Anna, Keith, MY BRADLEY! and his friends. Some kid was hitting on me, gross. He asked me for my number and I was like I don't have a phone, and then he asked me if I was in a group home and I was like yeah, because I only heard the group part. He like ran away and Bridget was like why'd you just tell him that you're in a group home and I was like ohh that's what he asked? So he came back and asked me why I was in a group home and all this other crap, then finally he left. Then like at 8:00 we left. Everyone went home and then I just stayed at Bridget's house. Tuesday - School. Then last Friday I went to Katie's party and got stoned/drunk with people, and I got my cartalige repierced, I now have 11 piercings and working on more! YAY for piercings! Saturday - I had the munchies like woah! Then Sunday my mom asked me if I still had a hang over, I was like WTF?! Haha, yeahhh. Haha well today was pretty sweet. I took 2 finals then got out early. Seth, Carlee, Phil, Melissa and I all got in Seth's car went and got cigarettes and stuff then drove around, it was fun. Tomorrow is my last day of school!! I only have to go in for 2 hours to take 1 more/last final for the year! Woo! I think I have to take Chris home tomorrow, pff. Ohh well, he's moving and I'm going to miss the little shit. Gahh, I miss my Andrew, Monday was seniors last day! He came back today to get some stuff though, so I got to see him again. I'm going to have so much fun this summer! I'm going to Graduation Parties and just parties like woah! Summer '06 is going to kick some major ass, dudes! So like yeah, tomorrow night startes the 3 day party Brittani and Katie are putting on in honor of the end of school and my birthday! Thursday, Friday and Saturday! Heck yeahh! I'm going to be so fucked up, dude! So yeah, my birthday is in 6 days, better wish me Happy Birthday, hoe! *SMILE*

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